Preparing for the Final

       
            Finals week has come and gone. Like every other student I prepared as hard as I could and prayed even harder when it came down to the time to take the tests that I had been preparing for for the whole semester. So often in school tests are what define our success. Tests exist to do just that test our knowledge and at times test our faith. I adamantly believe that there is symbolism in everything. Today I would like to write just a little bit about the preparing for the finals that really matter, the final where we face God and answer for everything we have ever done. Alma said in the 34th chapter of Alma “For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to preform their labors” (Alma 34:32). How are we to prepare? What will the final test be like? What is expected of us? I hope to be able to answer some of these questions.
            What is expected of us? The scriptures are clear on this subject. In 1 Nephi 10:21 it says, “No unclean thing can dwell with God; wherefore, ye must be cast off forever.” So how are we to become clean? The Savior himself gave us the answer, He said, “My Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, That I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men b lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil—and For this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me, that they may be judged according to their works. And whoso repententh and is baptized in my name shall be filled; and if he endureth to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at the day when I shall stand to judge the world. And he that endureth not unto the end, the same is he that is also hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence they can no more return, because of the justice of the Father… And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom; therefore, nothing entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end.” We are to have faith, repent, be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and Endure to the End. It is only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we can become clean and be ready.
            Now before I continue, I would like to make it clear. We cannot earn our way to heaven. There is no possible way for us alone to make it to Heaven we need God’s grace to do that. In a Devotional given by Brad Wilcox, a professor at BYU, he described our need for grace perfectly he said,
            “I have born-again Christian friends who say to me, “You Mormons are trying to earn your way to heaven.”
            I say, “No, we are not earning heaven. We are learning heaven. We are preparing for it (see D&C 78:7). We are practicing for it.”
            They ask me, “Have you been saved by grace?”
            I answer, “Yes. Absolutely, totally, completely, thankfully—yes!”
            Then I ask them a question that perhaps they have not fully considered: “Have you been changed by grace?” They are so excited about being saved that maybe they are not thinking enough about what comes next. They are so happy the debt is paid that they may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for. As my friend Brett Sanders puts it, “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life.” As my friend Omar Canals puts it, “While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us, Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.” As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior (see Moroni 7:48).
            The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly (see John 10:10). The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed (see Romans 8). Scriptures make it clear that no unclean thing can dwell with God (see Alma 40:26), but, brothers and sisters, no unchanged thing will even want to.
            I know a young man who just got out of prison—again. Each time two roads diverge in a yellow wood, he takes the wrong one—every time. When he was a teenager dealing with every bad habit a teenage boy can have, I said to his father, “We need to get him to EFY.” I have worked with that program since 1985. I know the good it can do.
            His dad said, “I can’t afford that.”
            I said, “I can’t afford it either, but you put some in, and I’ll put some in, and then we’ll go to my mom, because she is a real softy.”
            We finally got the kid to EFY, but how long do you think he lasted? Not even a day. By the end of the first day he called his mother and said, “Get me out of here!” Heaven will not be heaven for those who have not chosen to be heavenly.
            In the past I had a picture in my mind of what the final judgment would be like, and it went something like this: Jesus standing there with a clipboard and Brad standing on the other side of the room nervously looking at Jesus.
            Jesus checks His clipboard and says, “Oh, shoot, Brad. You missed it by two points.”
            Brad begs Jesus, “Please, check the essay question one more time! There have to be two points you can squeeze out of that essay.” That’s how I always saw it.
            But the older I get, and the more I understand this wonderful plan of redemption, the more I realize that in the final judgment it will not be the unrepentant sinner begging Jesus, “Let me stay.” No, he will probably be saying, “Get me out of here!” Knowing Christ’s character, I believe that if anyone is going to be begging on that occasion, it would probably be Jesus begging the unrepentant sinner, “Please, choose to stay. Please, use my Atonement—not just to be cleansed but to be changed so that you want to stay.”
            The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—miraculously—we can feel at home there. If Christ did not require faith and repentance, then there would be no desire to change. Think of your friends and family members who have chosen to live without faith and without repentance. They don’t want to change. They are not trying to abandon sin and become comfortable with God. Rather, they are trying to abandon God and become comfortable with sin. If Jesus did not require covenants and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, then there would be no way to change. We would be left forever with only willpower, with no access to His power. If Jesus did not require endurance to the end, then there would be no internalization of those changes over time. They would forever be surface and cosmetic rather than sinking inside us and becoming part of us—part of who we are.”
            We must be changed in order to be ready to enter into God’s presence. How does this change take place? The answer is simple, Trials. Throughout the school year the teachers/professors assign homework, projects, and midterms to help prepare us for the final. At times we can feel overwhelmed with the workload that is given us. I know I felt that way this last semester in school. They are designed to help us to grow so that we can be prepared to do well on the final. In life, these trials can come in many different shapes and forms. No one person is similar and no one trial is similar. I believe if we had the ability to put all of our trails in a bag and trade them with someone else we would open their bag see their trials and beg to trade them back for our trials. God knows us individually and he knows that we can handle trials. I would like to suggest 3 simple but essential things that we need to do as we face trials.
            1) Take trials a step at a time. Trials have the ability to make time appear to slow down and even stop. There are reasons for that, reasons that we do not understand. So when these trials happen don’t expect too much out of yourself. Take things a step at a time. When my father passed away, our family didn’t know how we were going to handle things. It became very difficult to think of what was going to happen tomorrow and even at times what would happen 10 minutes from now. At those times all God requires of you is to take one step and if you can’t take another one go to your knees and pray for the strength to take another one. Trials won’t be resolved all at once and rarely are they resolved in our time table. Be patient things will work out. There have been days where I would wake up and wonder where I was going to get the strength to endure that day, but somehow somewhere I would find the strength to endure just one more minute and by the end of the day I would thank my Heavenly Father that he helped me endure that one day. It has been four and a half years since my father passed away and there still days where I wonder where I will find the strength to endure, but when those times come I fall to my knees and plead with God for assistance and it comes.
            2) Read the Scriptures. On my mission I would repeatedly tell investigators, less-active members, and active members that if they had a question they would find an answer in the Book of Mormon. My Book of Mormon professor expressed that Idea in this way. Whenever he had someone ask him for a solution to a problem they were having he would reply, “read the first 100 pages in the Book of Mormon I know you will find the answer there” If the individual came back and still hadn’t found the answer he would reply “I can’t remember exactly where the answer is but I know if you read the 2nd 100 pages you will find the answer.” Always without fail the individual would find the answer through reading the Book of Mormon.
            3) Have Patience. Change and going through hard time takes times. Trials don’t come to stay they come to pass. There is a law in nature, it is the law of seasons. No matter how cold the winter gets spring will always come. No matter how dark the night may appear the dawn will always have the last laugh. Darkness will not and cannot prevail. There may be times where we feel that the darkness will never dissipate and we are left alone but remember even the instructor is silent during the test. Be patient things will work out. As we go through trials don’t expect to be perfect now, it won’t happen. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect in this life why should we expect anything more than he does. He knows we can’t be, but He does however, expect us to become better than we were yesterday. George Eliot said, “It is never too late to be what you might have been. If you feel like you haven’t done well on the tests God has given you there is no better time to start preparing for the final, then the present.
            No matter what stage we are in life we will all face trials. I hope that this entry has helped and given some direction in how to face trials. I learned these simple steps to facing our trials and preparing for our tests as a brand new missionary trying to cope with the new stresses of mission life and then again when I came home trying to adjust back to my life here. Today I, as do we all, continue to learn to face the tests of the future. When it all comes down to it trust in God and in good things to come.


Discovery Moments



"What you're going through right now, is a discovery moment. The stage you're at, the age you're at, the burdens you bear, the crosses you carry, these are discovery moments. Not moments where you discover how bad life is, but rather how strongly you have been created."


-TD Jakes


The Ultimate Gift: The Gift of Our Heart

             As the seasons begin to change, the weather starts to get colder, the snow begins to fall an excitement begins to fill the air. Christmas carols being sung, lights are being hung and smiles abound. Christmas is coming! With the rush of the holidays rushing in so often we find people rushing out of their houses to buy gifts for their loved ones. Gift giving is one of the most exciting traditions to Christmas. I remember as a young boy waiting for first light to come on Christmas morning so we could run upstairs and find the beautifully rapped presents delicately placed under the Christmas tree with our names written on them. The magic of Christmas and the memories of those wonderful mornings will always be a cherished memory that I will hold near to my heart. As time as passed, however for me the meaning of Christmas has become something a little more.
             One of our family’s traditions growing up was where we would go to the dollar store and buy a gift for each one of the members in our family. As I walked the isles of the dollar store I would
thoughtfully pick out each present to match the personalities of my brothers. We would then rap our presents and leave them under the Christmas tree and wait for the time we could open them. On Christmas Eve our family would spend time together making homemade bagel pizzas, watch the movie Elf, hang stockings and sit down as a family and open the dollar store presents that we had bought for each other. Our parents would then have us get our scriptures and we would turn in the Bible to Luke chapter 2 and read the story of the first Christmas and our father would explain that the gifts we would receive were nice but none of them compared to the gift of the savior. On occasion,
we would act out the Christmas story as our Grandfather or Father would read of Mary bringing forth her first born son, and wrapping him in swaddling clothes, and laying him in a manger; of the shepherds keeping watch over their flock and an angel coming to them with “good tidings of great joy”; and of the wise men bringing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to Jesus. We were then sent to bed to spend a sleepless night waiting for the morning. As a young child I always awaited the coming of Christmas morning because of the presents that Santa had brought but back then I never fully appreciated the ultimate gift that had already been given me, the one gift that doesn’t come in a store. The gift of the Son of God to the world.
             As I have grown, lived away from the comforts of home, met people with different cultures, views, and beliefs that I have come to realize that Christmas isn’t all about the gifts we receive; it is about the gifts that we give. These gifts can come in many different forms varying from a gift bout in the store, giving someone the gift of your time, or even a smile. The gifts we give have a way of of warming our hearts and we find that we too have received the most wonderful of gifts. As my relationship with God has grown stronger I have found myself asking this one question as Christmas rolls around: What can I give Him? He has already given me so much what could I possibly give in return? It is about this gift that I wish to write about today as well as the gift that he has given us.


A Broken Heart


             What can we give Christ for Christmas? What could we possibly give to the God of the universe who has everything. Ralf Waldo Emerson said, “rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself” (Ralph Waldo Emerson, “gifts,” Essays XIII, 1844). The only thing that we can give to God is the only thing that he does not have and the one thing that he cannot take - the gift of our heart. Omni in the Book of Mormon said “Come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him.” Rudyard Kipling wrote,

             “The tumult and the shouting dies;
             The captains and the kings depart.
             Still stands thine ancient sacrifice,
             An humble and a contrite heart.

             We are to give the gift of a “broken heart and a contrite spirit” for that is the only thing God does not have. So What does it mean to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit? Elder Bruce D. Porter said,
             “As in all things, the Savior’s life offers us the perfect example: though Jesus of Nazareth
was utterly without sin, He walked through life with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, as manifested by His submission to the will of the Father. “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me” (John 6:38). To His disciples He said, “Learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29). And when the time came to pay the ultimate sacrifice entailed in the Atonement, Christ shrank not to partake of the bitter cup but submitted completely to His Father’s will.
             The Savior’s perfect submission to the Eternal Father is the very essence of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Christ’s example teaches us that a broken heart is an eternal attribute of godliness. When our hearts are broken, we are completely open to the Spirit of God and recognize our dependence on Him for all that we have and all that we are. The sacrifice so entailed is a sacrifice of pride in all its forms. Like malleable clay in the hands of a skilled potter, the brokenhearted can be molded and shaped in the hands of the Master.
             To be broken in heart and contrite in spirit is to submit to the will of the Father. It is to repent of all our sins and try harder each day to be more like our Savior Jesus Christ. The Savior had, himself, given the ultimate gift - he had died of a broken heart.
             “the crucified sometimes lived for days upon the cross, and death resulted, not from the infliction of mortal wounds, but from internal congestion, inflammations, organic disturbances, and consequent exhaustion of vital energy. Jesus, though weakened by long torture during the preceding night and early morning, by the shock of the crucifixion itself, as also by intense mental agony, and particularly through spiritual suffering such as no other man has ever endured, manifested surprising vigor, both of mind and body, to the last. The strong, loud utterance, immediately following which He bowed His head and “gave up the ghost,” when considered in connection with other recorded details, points to a physical rupture of the heart as the direct cause of death. If the soldier’s spear was thrust into the left side of the Lord’s body and actually penetrated the heart, the outrush of “blood and water” observed by John is further evidence of a cardiac rupture; for it is known that in the rare instances of death resulting from a breaking of any part of the wall of the heart, blood accumulates within the pericardium, and there undergoes a change by which the corpuscles separate as a partially clotted mass from the almost colorless, watery serum…Great mental stress, poignant emotion either of grief or joy, and intense spiritual struggle are among the recognized causes of heart rupture. The Psalmist sang... “Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none. They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.” (Psalm 69:20, 21; see also 22:14.)”
             The rupturing of the the heart however did not take place on the cross. In order for the watery serum and the blood to separate the Savior’s heart had to rupture at least 12 to 15 hours before the soldier stabbed him with his spear. This means that the Savior’s heart didn’t break on the cross but in fact in the Garden of Gethsemane as the weight of the sins, sicknesses, and afflictions of all man kind pressed upon him with unimaginable weight. Elder Tadd R. Callister wrote,

             “This is a staggering thought when we contemplate the Mount Everest of pain required to make it so. What weight is thrown on the scales of pain when calculating the hurt of innumerable patients in countless hospitals? Now, add to that the loneliness of the elderly who are forgotten in the rest homes of society, desperately yearning for a card, a visit, a call— just some recognition from the outside world. Keep on adding the hurt of hungry children, the suffering caused by famine, drought, and pestilence. Pile on the heartache of parents who tearfully plead on a daily basis for a wayward son or daughter to come back home. Factor in the trauma of every divorce and the tragedy of every abortion. Add the remorse that comes with each child lost in the dawn of life, each spouse taken in the prime of marriage. Compound that with the misery of overflowing prisons, bulging halfway houses and institutions for the mentally disadvantaged. Multiply all this by century after century of history, and creation after creation without end. Such is but an awful glimpse of the Savior’s load. Who can bear such a burden or scale such a mountain as this? No one, absolutely no one, save Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of us all” (The Infinite Atonement). Edna St. Vincent Millay so eloquently penned,

All sin was of my sinning, all 
Atoning mine, and mine the gall 
Of all regret. Mine was the weight 
Of every brooded wrong, the hate 
That stood behind each envious thrust, 
Mine every greed, mine every lust. 
And all the while for every grief, 
Each suffering, I craved relief 
With individual desire,— 
Craved all in vain! And felt fierce fire 
About a thousand people crawl; 
Perished with each,—then mourned for all! 
A man was starving in Capri; 
He moved his eyes and looked at me; 
I felt his gaze, I heard his moan, 
And knew his hunger as my own. 
I saw at sea a great fog bank 
Between two ships that struck and sank; 
A thousand screams the heavens smote; 
And every scream tore through my throat. 
No hurt I did not feel, no death 
That was not mine; mine each last breath 
That, crying, met an answering cry 
From the compassion that was I. 
All suffering mine, and mine its rod; 
Mine, pity like the pity of God. 
Ah, awful weight! Infinity 
Pressed down upon the finite Me! 
My anguished spirit, like a bird, 
Beating against my lips I heard; 
Yet lay the weight so close about 
There was no room for it without. 
And so beneath the weight lay I 
And suffered death, but could not die. 


             We cannot fully comprehend the magnitude of the suffering of the Savior of the world all we know is that he did it. He was victorious over death and sin and he did it for us. C.S. Lewis said, "He [Christ] has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. He does not have to deal with us in the mass. You are as much alone with Him as if you were the only being He had ever created. When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only man in the world." Elder Merrill J. Bateman said of this intimate sacrifice,
     
       "The Savior's atonement in the garden and on the cross is intimate as well as infinite. Infinite in that it spans the eternities. Intimate in that the Savior felt each person's pains, sufferings, and sicknesses." Since the Savior, as a God, has the capacity to simultaneously entertain multiple thoughts, perhaps it was not impossible for the mortal Jesus to contemplate each of our names and transgressions in concomitant fashion as the Atonement progressed, without ever sacrificing personal attention for any of us. His suffering need never lose its personal nature. While such suffering had both macro and micro dimensions, the Atonement was ultimately offered for each one of us.”

The Gift the Father Gave

             As we contemplate of the Savior’s ultimate sacrifice we can’t forget the sacrifice his Father endured. “In [the] most burdensome moment of all human history, with blood appearing at every pore an anguished cry upon His lips, Christ sought Him whom He had always sought – His Father. “Abba,” He cried, “Papa,” or from the lips of a younger child, “Daddy.” This is such a personal moment it almost seems a sacrilege to cite it. A son in unrelieved pain, a Father His only true source of strength, both of them staying the course, making it through the night together” (Jeffery R. Holland, “The Hands of the Fathers”). The perfect son, who had never spoken ill, nor done wrong, nor touched an unclean thing was now in the Garden praying “Father remove this cup from me” … This was the Son that had taught all that His Father had taught him one of those lessons being “As, and it shall be given you.” For the first time this Son was asking something for himself “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done.” It was not a simple plight the Savior was asking if there was not another way, but for him there wasn’t. The Father’s answer was no and with that the unimaginable anguish pressed upon this perfect Son.
             “the Father loved him dearly, and yet he allowed this well-beloved Son to descend from his place of glory and honor, where millions did him homage, down to the earth, a condescension that is not within the power of man to conceive. He came to receive the insult, the abuse, and the crown of thorns. God heard the cry of his Son in that moment of great grief and agony, in the garden when, it is said, the pores of his body opened and drops of blood stood upon him, and he cried out: “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me.”
             I ask you, what father and mother could stand by and listen to the cry of their children in distress, in this world, and not render aid and assistance? I have heard of mothers throwing themselves into raging streams when they could not swim a stroke to save their drowning children, rushing into burning buildings, to rescue those whom they loved.
             We cannot stand by and listen to those cries without its touching our hearts. The Lord has not given us the power to save our own. He has given us faith, and we submit to the inevitable, but he had the power to save, and he loved his Son, and he could have saved him. He might have rescued him from the insult of the crowds. He might have rescued him when the crown of thorns was placed upon his head. He might have rescued him when the Son, hanging between the two thieves, was mocked with, “Save thyself, and come down from the cross. He saved others; himself he cannot save.” He listened to all this. He saw that Son condemned; he saw him drag the cross through the streets of Jerusalem and faint under its load. He saw that Son finally upon Calvary; he saw his body stretched out upon the wooden cross; he saw the cruel nails driven through hands and feet, and the blows that broke the skin, tore the flesh, and let out the life’s blood of his Son. He looked upon that.
             In the case of our Father, the knife was not stayed, but it fell, and the life’s blood of his Beloved Son went out. His Father looked on with great grief and agony over his Beloved Son, until there seems to have come a moment when even our Savior cried out in despair: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
             In that hour I think I can see our dear Father behind the veil looking upon these dying struggles until even he could not endure it any longer; and, like the mother who bids farewell to her dying child, has to be taken out of the room, so as not to look upon the last struggles, so he bowed his head, and hid in some part of his universe, his great heart almost breaking for the love that he had for his Son. Oh, in that moment when he might have saved his Son, I thank him and praise him that he did not fail us, for he had not only the love of his Son in mind, but he also had love for us. I rejoice that he did not interfere, and that his love for us made it possible for him to endure to look upon the sufferings of his Son and give him finally to us, our Savior and our Redeemer. Without him, without his sacrifice, we would have remained, and we would never have come glorified into his presence. And so this is what it cost, in part, for our Father in Heaven to give the gift of his Son unto men.” (Melvin J. Ballard)

Our Gift to Them

             The gifts that the Father and the Son gave us can never be repaid, but they ask that honor and appreciate the gift that we have been given. Melvin J. Ballard said, “How do I appreciate the gift? If I only knew what it cost our Father to give his Son, if I only knew how essential it was that I should have that Son and that I should receive the spiritual life that comes from that Son, I am sure I would always be present at the sacrament table to do honor to the gift that has come unto us,” As Christmas approaches may we remember the gifts we have been given and choose to follow God’s commandments a little better. Whether it be attending the temple more often, keeping the Sabbath day a little more holy, reading our scriptures every night or trying be a little more patient. I pray that we will ponder what we can do for Christ this Christmas and as we are finding the perfect gift for our loved ones this let us prepare the ultimate gift for Christ - the gift of our heart.










“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means — the only complete realist.”

-C.S. Lewis

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

- Henny Youngman


I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

- Ron White
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C.S. Lewis

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
-Alexander Graham Bell
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
-C.S. Lewis


After All We Can Do


by Elder Robbie Pierce

I had been in that hole for a very long time—
In the dark and the damp, in the cold and the slime.
The shaft was above me; I saw it quite clear,
But there’s no way I ever could reach it from here.
I could not remember the world way up there,
So I lost every hope and gave in to despair.

I knew nothing but darkness, the floor, and the wall.
Then from off in the distance I heard someone call:
“Get up! Get ready! There’s nothing the matter!
Take rocks and take sticks and build up a fine ladder!”
This was a thought that had not crossed my mind,
But I started to stack all the stones I could find.

When I ran out of stones, then old sticks were my goal,
For some way or another I’d climb from that hole.
I soon had a ladder that stood very tall,
And I thought, “I’ll soon leave this place once and for all!”
I climbed up my ladder, a difficult chore,
For from lifting those boulders, my shoulders were sore.

I climbed up the ladder, but soon had to stop,
For my ladder stopped short, some ten feet from the top.
I went back down my ladder and felt all around,
But there were no more boulders nor sticks to be found.
I sat down in the darkness and started to cry.
I’d done all I could do and I gave my best try.

But in spite of my work, in this hole I must die.
And all I could do was to sit and think, “Why?”
Was my ladder to short? Was my hole much too deep?
Then from way up on high came a voice: “Do not weep.”
And then faith, hope, and love entered into my chest
As the voice calmly told me that I'd done my best.

He said, “You have worked hard, and your labor’s been rough,
But the ladder you’ve built is at last tall enough.
So do not despair; there is reason to hope,
Just climb up your ladder; I’ll throw down my rope.”
I climbed up my ladder, then climbed up the cord.
When I got to the top of it, there stood the Lord.

I’ve never been happier; my struggle was done.
I blinked in the brightness that came from the Son.
I fell to the ground as His feet I did kiss.
I cried, “Lord, can I ever repay Thee for this?”
He looked all about. There were holes in the ground.
They had people inside, and were seen all around.

There were thousands of holes that were damp, dark and deep.
Then the Lord looked at me, and He said, “feed my sheep,”
And he went on his way to save other lost souls,
So I got right to work, calling down to the holes,
“Get up! Get ready! There is nothing the matter!
Take rocks, and take sticks, and build up a fine ladder!”

It now was my calling to spread the good word,
The most glorious message that man ever heard:
That there’s one who is coming to save one and all,
And we need to be ready when he gives the call.
He’ll pull us all out of the holes that we’re in
And save all our souls from cold death and from sin.

So do not lose faith; there is reason to hope:
Just climb up your ladder; he’ll throw down his rope.

When Homesick Go Home, Go to the Temple.


            This week’s contemplation is one that is very dear to my heat. I have always loved the temple but my love for it has grown over the years.

                  I love to see the temple,
                  I’m going there someday,
                  To feel the Holy Spirit,
                  To listen and to pray,
                  For the temple is a house of God
                  A place of love and beauty
                  I’ll prepare myself while I am young
                  This is my sacred duty.

                  I love to see the temple,
                  I’ll go inside someday,
                  I’ll covenant with the my Father
                  I’ll promise to obey
                  For the temple is a holy place
                  Where we are sealed together
                  As a child I’ve learned this truth
                  A family is forever

            With my Dad being an Architect I learned a lot about temple architecture and the standard it had to be held to. I would like to talk about that for a second. Perfection, is the only word that describes the temple. I can remember my dad coming home from trips and laying out his architectural paper. It would cover the whole table because it was so big. He would sit and he’d redline it. Each redline he’d mark was a part that had to be fixed. Those papers were filled with red lines. When he was in Samoa he was made fun of because he’d go around the temple putting stickers. On every single place that needed to be perfected. The construction workers hadn’t dealt with something like that before. So they didn’t know but there were a ton of stickers. Now since temples have to be perfect. God gives us a way to make it perfect. He will provide. I will use stories from the Samoa temple because I love it so much. Most of them are from what my dad told me and so if I get them a little wrong I’m sorry.


The Lord Will Provide

            On April 2nd 1980 President Spencer W. Kimball announced that the temple in Pago Pago American Samoa would be relocated to Apia Samoa. So that it could better serve the members of the church in Samoa because it would be closer. And on August 5th, 1983 it was dedicated. Nearly 20 year later on the evening of July 9th 2003 the people of Samoa watched as their temple burnt to the ground. I can only imagine what they felt as they watched the house of the lord in flames. The feeling of despair and hopeless that was probably in their hearts. I can only imagine they asked: Why? Why us? Why now? Those questions aren’t answered. “When you face adversity, you will be lead to ask many questions. Some will serve a useful purpose others do not. To ask why does this have to happen to me, why do I have to suffer this now, will lead you into blind allies. It does no good to ask these questions. It reflects opposition to the will of the lord. Rather Ask: What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change?”

            We are all human so we ask those “why” question. I’ll talk a little bit more on that later. When the temple burnt down the first presidency was inspired to rebuild it as fast as possible. So it went on a design build situation. Where the Architects would design and send over the plans and build as they designed the next portion of the temple. My Dad was given the opportunity to do this. He was spending more hours than he normally did because he had to meet deadlines. One of those deadlines was approaching and he hadn’t the assignment finished. He had missed the last deadline and he couldn’t miss this upcoming one again. But he had another situation, his anniversary was coming. He couldn’t miss that. Although my mom said she understood. He didn’t want to miss his role as a father and a husband, but he didn’t want to disappoint the lord and stop progress on his temple. He became so overwhelmed he asked for a priesthood blessing. In the priesthood blessing it didn’t take away what he had to do. It only told him there would be a way. There is a Jewish proverb that I love that best describes this. “I ask not for a lighter burden, but broader shoulders. I ask not for an easier path, but stronger feat. I ask not for a weaker enemy, but a stronger me.” True to his word God provided a way and miracles followed.
            When my Dad went over to Samoa he sent an email home and told us there are miracles happening here every day. One of those I’d like to share. It is a small one but a miracle. I call it the story of the sealant. They needed a can of sealant 4 inches big to connect two pipes together. They looked all over the island and couldn’t find it. It would take three weeks if not longer to have another can sent over. A few days later they received a call from one of the store owners. “I got this can of sealant. Do you need it? I did not order this but it is here.” The lord will provide a way.
            At the same time as this was happening over in Samoa miracles were happening in our own home. We were kicked out of our house as what was to be a “painting job” turned into a Walker home improvement. Where things were fixed and put windows that weren’t there. I was told that every day they would need something on a list and someone would come I have this picture frame, I have this thing. It was the exactly what was needed. Miracles do happen and the lord will provide a way.
            There were also big miracles that happened especially in Samoa. The temple was in a stage where it was still vulnerable to natural disasters, and there was a hurricane headed straight for Apia. One that if struck would completely destroy the temple. As the hurricane came close to the island it made a sudden turn missing the island completely. Miracles do happen and the lord will provide a way.

Our Fires and Hurricanes

            Now no matter hard we try in life fires and hurricanes will come. They will strike without warning, leaving us unprepared standing in the ashes to pick up the pieces. Six years after the rededication of the Samoa temple. Grant and I returned from a priest activity, one of the best ones we had ever had, and a hurricane of a different kind hit. My brothers and I were gathered in our living room and were told something terrible had happened. That our father had passed away because of a heart attack. In that moment I felt hopeless, and helpless. I found myself asking: Why? Why me? Why now? Why does this have to happen? There were good days and bad days that followed. There were a lot of bad but there were some good. One of those bad days I felt like I couldn’t take another step. With the wise counsel of a mother I skipped school the next day and went to the temple to do baptisms. After I had done the baptisms the guy who was helping me asked. What are you doing here aren’t you suppose too be in school? I told him yes I’m supposed to but, I’ve had a hard week and the only place I wanted to be at was the temple. He said, “You know that is the best place where you can be” I went and sat in the chapel because I didn’t want to leave and read from the book of Psalms. “Save me O God, for the waters are come into my soul. I sink in deep mire where there is no standing. I am come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I am weary of my crying, my throat is dry my eyes fall while they wait for god.” Then I asked like Joseph Smith did in Liberty Jail, “O God, where art thou?” Although I didn’t receive an answer like Joseph Smith did I received peace. My temple visits became more frequent after that. I went every chance I could because at the time it was the only place where I truly felt peace. That peace I wouldn’t realize what it was until another time of my live.
            On August 23rd of last year I boarded a plane headed for Hawaii to go to college. Now what could go wrong in Hawaii?
I could go to the beach whenever I wanted, take a nap on the beach, and longboard on streets I didn’t really know. It was great for the first few days, but then homesickness set in. I realized how alone I was. I was 3,000 miles away from home in a land I did not know. Spending time with people who I thought I knew but I didn’t. I called home one day to my mom and I said “mom I made a mistake, what am I doing here?” she told me “no you didn’t things will be hard at least for this first little while” then she asked me I’ll never forget. “You haven’t been to the temple have you?” It was true I hadn’t. So I waited until that next Tuesday and went to the temple. Every day that week I went to the temple. I realized then what that feeling of peace was. Being 3,000 miles away from home I could go to the temple and I was home. I didn’t feel so alone. I felt like I had other people in my corner fighting for me. Although I probably couldn’t see them, there were angels there. I went to the temple often, as often as I could. Just so I could feel at home. I called home again after some time had passed; I was having a hard time again. My told me another thing that I will never forget. She said “sometimes I think we are sad because we are homesick; now not homesick for our earthly home although we could be for that. There is something inside of us that remembers what we had before this life; Living with a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother that loves us so very much. And we miss that!”
            So I ask, when we are homesick why don’t we go home? God has given a way; he has given us his house. On the front of every temple it says “holiness to the lord, the house of the lord.” So when we are homesick; and when we are feeling down. Go visit home! Even if you are 3,000 miles away from your earthly home you can always visit your heavenly home.
            Now in our times of trouble ask what I can learn, instead of why. I didn’t really didn’t do that because I didn’t want to. But now I can look back and realize a little bit of what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that when we ask “O God, where art thou?” he is there. We just might not recognize him. I know I didn’t’. He was there in a bishop, who after we had received the news, of our fathers passing, was at our house to give us priesthood blessings. He was there in young men’s’ leaders, who gave a word of advice and a word of comfort when we needed it. He was there, in the people who brought us dinners so we didn’t have to think about it. He was there, in the people who smiled and said hello and asked us how we were doing. He was there in friends, who cried alongside with us, who listened when we needed someone to talk to, who put their arms around as and told us everything would be okay. He was there most of all in family. Who going through the same things, found ways to help each other when it felt like we couldn’t even help ourselves. And he was there in unseen angels, who walked beside us and helped us run when we felt like we could only walk. Or helped us stand when all we wanted to do was lie down and give up.
            I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father. For everything he has done for me, for the love he has for me. I am so thankful for a savior, who bleed and died for me that I might return to my heavenly father again. I am thankful for a bishop who has helped me. He is truly called of God. I’m thankful for all of you. I’m thankful for an earthly father, who taught me truth. And still teaches me truth. At his funeral Monte Lowder said something that I feel impressed to say today “Bishop Walker is here” I got a strong feeling of it when I was sitting on the stand. He is here. So is our Heavenly Father, he is always there even when we may ask “O God, where art thou?” He is still there. I’d like to close with the words of one of my favorite hymns.

                  “And when I think that God, His son not sparing,
                  Sent him to die, I scares can take it in,
                  And on the cross he suffered bleed and died,
                  To take away my sins,
                  Then sings my soul, my savior god to thee
                  How great thou art! How great thou art!”

            Two years have now passed since I originally wrote this but my feelings haven’t changed in fact they have grown stronger. For two years I walked amongst the people of the Philippines. The Urdaneta Temple had been announced long before I arrived there but news of when construction would start never came. For the two years I, along with the many other missionaries that were assigned to the mission, we prayed waited and worked as hard as we could to prepare the people for the temple but nothing ever happened. I learned that Satan works hard to prevent the temple from coming. Some of the areas I was assigned that were closest to the site where the temple would come were often the more difficult areas in the whole mission. Satan had taken hold of the hearts of the people and it would take a miracle to prepare the people. God works in mysterious ways. He is in charge and his ways will come to pass. I watched as the members prayed frequently for the temple to come. I watched as they assisted the missionaries in finding and rescuing of many souls. I still don’t know when the temple will come but for now I see that God is preparing the members who they need to be to be worthy of such an important building.
            For two years I was unable to go to the temple. I often found myself thinking of how easy it was to go to the temple when I was in Utah and how I had wished I had spent more time inside its doors. I realized that for those that live close to the temple the sacrifice of attending is different than those who live miles away. For those in the Philippines it was a rare occasion that they got to got to the temple. They would have to save up the money so that they could travel to the temple which for many impoverished members was a large sacrifice. The sacrifice is different here in Utah. We don’t have to save our money to go the sacrifice is one of time. Time that if we are not careful can pass without noticing. One of the first things I wanted to do when I got home was go to the temple so the day after I returned from my mission my mother and I had the opportunity to visit the recently renovated Ogden Temple. I had just returned home from being 7,255 miles away from home and now I got the chance to return to my Father’s home. When I first walked into the celestial room the feeling of peace and warmth filled my heart. I was home. So in times when you are homesick, go home go to the temple.




"Today is a new day. It is a day you have never seen before and a day you'll never see again. Stop telling yourself the "same crap, different day" lie! How many days has that lie stolen from you? Seize the wonder and uniqueness of today! Recognize that throughout this beautiful day, you have an incredible amount of opportunities to move your life in the direction you want it to go.
-Dr. Steve Maraboli

Being thankful

“Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.”

~ Author Unknown